Today
is the second yahrtzeit of my father,
William Aaron Pliskin, who passed away March 10, 2010, several months before
his 90th birthday, an event he was excited about celebrating. Yahrtzeit is a Yiddish word, meaning the
anniversary of someone’s death according to the Jewish calendar (my father died
on the 24th of the month Adar in the year 5770), and it is observed
by close relatives going to the synagogue and saying kaddish, known as the “mourner’s prayer.” It is, in fact, a prayer for the living that is said several
times during the service to acknowledge the greatness of God and to appeal for
peace. Kaddish is also said at
home when lighting the yahrtzeit candle in memory of the loved one.
I
wanted to go to services yesterday to say kaddish, but the closest synagogue, Beth Yaakov,
is in downtown Geneva. The
location was not a problem for me, although circling the city looking for
parking might have been. The
problem, however, is that Beth Yaakov is an Orthodox synagogue in which women
do not say kaddish. Geneva’s
liberal synagogue, GIL, has
services on Friday nights starting at 6:30, smack in the middle of rush hour,
and because the synagogue is on the other side of Geneva and parking is
difficult, I would have had to have left Ferney-Voltaire at 5 PM at the latest to
get there on time. Needless to
say, that does not seem to be a restful way of spending Shabbat evening. So I didn’t go to services to say
kaddish and considering I am a member of the egalitarian Netivot Shalom in Berkeley,
California, not being in a community to say kaddish with other mourners is a
lonesome experience.
But last night after sundown I lit the yahrtzeit
candle at home and said kaddish with thoughts of my father. He, too, was an experimental physicist,
but his world of science was far removed from CERN’s physics. He received awards from IBM for his
patents of thin glass films which prevented printed circuits from oxidizing,
and which saved the company millions, and probably by now, billions of dollars
(too bad that savings didn’t trickle down to his salary…). My father loved his
family and physics, had a wonderful sense of humor, was a lifelong liberal
Democrat (his parents were members of the Workmen’s Circle, a Jewish socialist
organization), and was as proud of being an agnostic as he was of being a Jew. He had a handlebar moustache, sparkling
eyes, and a charming smile. I miss
him.
What a lovely post. I remember your father very clearly, even though I met him only twice. He was a delightful person to be with. The picture you've posted is wonderful. It captures that charming smile.
ReplyDeleteYou are lucky to have a tradition that honors the dead. It is a lovely way to remember them. My father died 3 1/2 years ago; my mother and my sister nearly 7 years ago, and I think about all of them every day.
Having a yahrtzeit candle burn for 26 hours is a poignant tradition for remembering loved ones. I wonder why Unitarians, who have adopted some Jewish observances, haven't taken on the yahrtzeit candle and kaddish. You can buy the candles in the kosher section of supermarkets, and you light them the evening of the day before the person died, since the Jewish day starts at sundown.
ReplyDeleteI can't believe that it's been that long since you lost your mother, sister, and father. Maybe lighting yahrtzeit candles on the days they died would be a way for you to honor them.